OUT OF THE BLOG: A Nervous Beginning

All visuals used here are lifted from here and there, as inspired and led by Google images search and they are used just for the heck of it. However, kindly note that the ideas penned down are original - though 'being original' is a much debatable ontological issue.

Well, I've been wanting to launch a blog for some time - to log something about myself! Not really some 'something' but some SOMETHING! Folks, friends and even foes have told me, I write well - so why not let the world know about it, just in case they were not kidding. For all you know, they were being just kind, perhaps. Anyways, now that I've created a blog and have decided to log, what do I clog this page with? I did not want to consult other established bloggers because taking advice or tips have never been one of my strong points. But I did visit some blogs, forget about some, many many many blogs! And I realised people write just about anything - yes, anything, I mean it. And, I also figured out that the ground rule is to write about something as if the whole world is waiting to read about it. Before I get back to my own cynical self, which is generally well hidden, let me try and find something which interests me and well, the whole world. Okay, let's be realistic; if not the whole world, at least my own self. The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people! (Incidentally some Lucille S. Harper said it before I could).

Once upon a time, when I was young, naive and a little more egotistic (I discovered very late in life that egoism and egotism are two different things) than I am now, I had somehow developed a vague kind of 'intellectualism' (for want of a better and less arrogant word!). Let me try and explain, when given a school composition work on 'My favourite movie', when all my friends were writing on Roja and 1942: A Love Story and Kilukkam and Dil, I thought I should write on Adoor Gopalakrishnan's Mathilukal, which still remains one of my favourites! After the class when we were routinely asking each other "Hey, which movie did you write about?", I still remember telling them proudly - 'Mathilukal' - only to be given such unbelievable looks which almost read "You don't really look like a freak"! Some didn't even know that it was a movie - and the some who knew thought it was not even a movie! (We had not even entered teenage then). I wondered if I was supposed to be apologetic about my choice but I found myself in similar situations quite often ... and self-translated those looks into compliments! Thankfully, I didn't look like a freak so I was never traumatised - was left just a little puzzled. When girls of my age were still revelling in the world of Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew, I thought I had graduated to Silas Marner and Jane Eyre and Indulekha didn't really want to go back to Frank Hardy, on whom I think I had my first crush! When they were reading Vanitha (a popular women's magazine) I was trying really hard to comprehend Mathrubhumi weekly and Bhashaposhini and The Week and The Frontline and trying my best to pretend that I understand everything! I thought I was politically more aware and responsive than all my friends put together but my dad thought I didn't even read the newspaper properly! I used to get defensive about it for a long time till I discovered to my shock and dismay that even my husband (whom I myself had picked/chosen with much care, thought and skill) fanatically believes that newspapers are my enemies! Why do men think that they own newspapers?? Another exclusive session on that... eh... not immediately!

Coming back to my school days... in my world Reader's Digest co-existed with Tinkle Digest, Balarama was a staple diet but Basheer and O.V. Vijayan were desserts! I still can remember the state of trance I was in after my first encounter with Orwell - I could see and feel Big Brother! Equally incredible was my first date with Mills and Boons! I really have a lot more to write about the way I devoured books indiscriminately to the point of indigestion and at times nausea and even severe diarrhea! May be, in another session?

When I finished school, friends and foes thought I was going nuts - I wanted to choose the Arts Group! For those who don't know, in Kerala we believe that it is a crime to choose anything 'less' than science or maths if you somehow or the other score some ninety per cent in the Board Exams! Unless, you are dead sure that you will definitely aim for Civil Services, which I had no intention to! An uncle of mine thought it was suicidal, or did he mean slow poisoning? Whatever! Let me not digress. I reach college and I find that most of my classmates had had a bad dream - and when they woke up they were in G-batch, Arts Group! (Arts or Humanities, christened as 'G Batch' in our college, A-F being Maths/Science groups). That was the best they could explain about their accidental and not in the least happy landing or rather the crash landing in G Batch. Anyways, that was a long time back and again I found myself being a 'freak' occasionally - when I thought Beauty Contests didn't really make sense or wondered why Lady D's death should become our national tragedy! (I didn't say I don't 'like' Lady D - will definitely clarify it soon if you can hang on). At home everyone used to say that I just go on talking - most of the time out of focus but without omitting uninteresting and irrelevant details. I guess, I've been confirming that allegation for the last two and a half decades! So, let me move on to something else now.

I used to think I'm not much of a movie person but of late I realise I am pretty much au courant than most of the self declared movie buffs. Not sure if that's a moment of pride for me - anyways, who cares. There are some movies which I have watched over and again till I can identify them even when just the background music is playing! My list may keep varying for various random reasons - I'll reserve that logic or lack of logic for another session. Can't wait to reach all the 'another' sessions that I have promised! Why do these 'another' sessions remind me of the Other, which cannot always fit into the 'main' (con)text!